Category: Wedding Preparations

Monrostudio – No more VS BS.

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Going inner wear shopping in Pakistan means devoting an entire day to the cause. You literally have to go all over the city to find a place that sells decent, comfortable stuff and the entire time you are praying in your head for your sister/cousin/friend to return soon from another country so you can order your stash from there. At the end you end up buying something you don’t love or feel too comfortable in but end up buying it anyway because a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

One of the most asked questions on this blog is where to find comfortable, affordable and great quality inner wear in the country and I finally have an answer to that.

Monrostudio is an online lingerie store that is an answer to all our inner wear questions. I received a package from them not long ago to check out their products and I can very confidently say that it is definitely some of the best stuff I have seen, not just in Pakistan but over all. SO SO impressed.

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GREAT fit and super comfortable which came across as an even bigger surprise to me because something always is off when you order inner wear, specially bra’s without trying them on first. Killer stuff. Another thing that is not too related to the product but is too cool to be ignored is their packaging. The products arrive in these really sexy boxes and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get too excited about the product before even seeing it just because the box had that effect on me.

They have some great designs and even though they have just recently launched the brand, they have quite a decent collection. Its all pretty affordable too, their bra collection starts from Rs 2,500 and panties start from Rs 900.

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These boxes are taking away my heart.

What I liked about the brand was that they are not only focusing on selling good quality lingerie in Pakistan, but also making a point to create awareness regarding the importance of inner wear among the women here. The entire conversation about bras etc is one of those that girls whisper about, feeling embarrassed like it is something to be ashamed of even though its a part of our everyday life. Many girls are so hesitant in actually getting advice that they end up buying stuff which is not perfect for their body type and end up getting various diseases and dealing with many issues such as backache etc. Monrostudio has a blog on their website that addresses various issues faced by women in our country and its a great read. You can check it out on: http://monrostudio.com/blog.

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It is really important for us to know about our bodies and what’s best suited for it. Really glad to see an international standard local brand in the country, I highly recommend it to all you guys and just because these guys are awesome and you guys are my favorite people in the world, you guys can win a gift voucher for a 25% discount on any purchase of your choice on their website!

All you got to do is:

Follow Monrostudio and Rantsofadesibride on instagram
Like Monrostudio and Rants of a Desi Bride on Facebook.

and comment “DONE” here in the comment section or under the MonroStudio post on Facebook/Instagram.

Once again, DO check out their website if you want to get good quality lingerie before you open one of those international websites. You will NOT be disappointed. I promise.

One year later – What I learned (Part II)

As promised, I nagged Faizan till he gave up and decided to have a conversation with me about everything that he learned during the past one year as a married person.If you missed the post I did about my learnings, you can find it here.

So without wasting anymore time, I’ll get to his part right away.

Me: TELL ME WHAT YOU LEARNED DURING THIS PAST YEAR
Faizan: Ask me questions
Me: NO FAIZ. Just tell me. 
Faizan: Tell you what?
Me: EVERYTHING YOU LEARNED.
Faizan: Okay. let me think.
Me: NO. NOW. (I am so annoying uff taubah.)

Now that you know the background, I’ll get down to what he said:

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Even shared some important secrets with Fauzia at our valima. I take this very seriously. LOL.

1. Communicate – At All Times
Communication is the key. Make sure you share everything about your day with your partner. Make them feel more involved in all parts of your life even the ones they don’t necessarily understand too well. Don’t hide anything thinking that the person might get mad or pissed off, tell them right away. How they react might just surprise you. Knowing that the person can completely trust you and you can completely trust them makes married life a lot more easier. No secrets, no matter what.

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If you don’t give her love,  there is a high chance she will fall in love with an international superstar.

2. Respect And Love Your Wife
Its something so basic, but so so important in any marriage. You get respect when you give respect. your wife is not just any other person, its something you are bound for life with, in order for her to be happy, she needs and deserves to feel safe, loved and respected at all times. Do not cross the line, never say anything that would hurt her deeply or hurt her at all. You know what they say, happy wife = happy life and who doesn’t want a happy life eh?

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Happy father in law = Happy wife = Happy Me.

3. Accept Her Family As Your Own
Its different for boys when it comes to accepting the wife’s family. The girl usually moves in and its just a matter of time before she learns to care and love for our families like she does her for her own because they spend so much time together, living in the same house. However, since our interaction with the in laws is relatively limited (I am talking from my own experience, being in a different city) it takes a little more time.  Be nice to them. Respect them like your own family. And NEVER EVER say anything mean or hurtful about them anywhere. Not to your wife, not to your friends, not to your own family, not even to yourself. Its just wrong and extremely hurtful to them and your partner.

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You can appreciate the person anyway you want. This is how I do it.

4. Appreciate. Always Appreciate.
Its very easy to get stuck in a cycle where your wife does everything for you and you just make it a part of your routine and don’t acknowledge it as something nice/special. Wrong. Always appreciate, even the smallest of things. She has the option of not bringing you breakfast but she does that herself rather than simply asking the maid or asking you to do it yourself. Appreciate that. I have a very hectic work schedule (most of you know that, thanks snapchat!) but not once did Fauzia ever complain because she understands but if she didn’t I would make her understand and then appreciate her for being so patient. I have always been so at peace from that side that I never had to worry about late sittings. I never said it enough initially but now I make it a point to do that and I can see her mood change entirely just by hearing those few nice words.

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I think I’ll sue her soon for snapchatting me all the time without consent. Just kidding. Or am I..

5. Be Supportive
Its pretty self explanatory, the statement, so I’ll share our own story with you here. Fauzia is a full time blogger now. Blogs are very slow and it takes along time before you establish a proper audience and monetize your work. She has always been extremely career oriented (which is one of the things I love about her) and worked at some really amazing places, being independent, earning a lot of money. From that to completely switching to this seemed a little weird and even I couldn’t understand it though my own sister did the exact same thing. People don’t see blogging as a real career here in Pakistan and in all honestly neither did I. But then I saw her passion for it and how invested she was into this whole thing. I started reading all her posts regularly, liking them to show my appreciation and very often gave her feedback, both good and bad. I really like how she feels confident enough about choosing this field now and it shows how every time I take a stand for her or I tell her how much I liked something she posted she gets more motivated. Goes on to show how much a husband’s support means to a wife and I hope I support her the same way in all her life and career decisions.

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Travel, even if its just an incredibly fun road trip to Multan.

6. Travel Together
You learn so much about a person when you travel with them. It doesn’t have to be abroad or to an expensive, fancy place. Anywhere works. Just take out the time, save some money and go travel.

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Our quality time requires a lot of random face making and pictures.

7. Spend Quality Time Together
For someone with a busy work schedule its not easy to do much together on a daily basis.So what you should do is find that one thing that you both have in common and commit to it. Like watching an episode of your favorite TV show before sleeping, going out for a small drive, go get juice or coffee or ice cream, play one hand of cards. This time is essential for you both as a couple and also helps you forget about your stressful day and makes your partner happy. Makes up for all the lost time and its really easy to do too.

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Throwback to an awesome Kings of Leon Concert we attended back when we used to be young and cool. LOLOLOL

8. Remember, Being Married is a LOT Of Fun
I remember how before getting married I often felt really worried about all the responsibility that was coming with the wife, but Alhamdulillah having a good partner in life really washes away all these concerns. I married my friend, someone who loves and understands me at all times and that makes me realize how much difference a good wife can make in your life. Doing small things together everyday, watching movies, ordering food, fighting over who fills the water bottle at night, just sitting and discussing world issues or watching funny videos on youtube – everything is fun. I’d do it again if I could (before she subjects me to domestic violence) with Fauzia of course. LOL.

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Hello, goodbye!

9. Be proud of being her husband
Introduce her to your friends, your colleagues. Be proud of the person that she is. Accept her with all her flaws and all the differences. Accept her importance in your life as a partner, a friend, a guide.

Thats it from me. Its all pretty generic, but I hope you people enjoy and learn something from it! Bye now.

1 Year Later – What I learned.

Before I begin this piece, I want to clarify that whatever you read below is based on my personal experience and thought process. I completely understand that people lead different lives and not everyone will be able to relate and understand so when we reach that point, we will just move on accepting that fact and if there is something in there you really don’t believe in then we will just agree to disagree. Okay?

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Happy New Year from us to all you party peopleeee!

Alhamdulillah celebrated our first anniversary earlier this month (by celebrated I mean stayed home in our night suits,  watched a comedy TV series and ordered chinese. Our kind of thing) and its still feel unreal. I am still kind of in denial about being married so naturally being married for an entire year feels very very weird. haha. Anyway.

This one year has taught me a lot and I’d like to share some things that I found were key to my happiness and peace during these past 365 days.

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His face when he figured how lucky he is in life.  And please note my eyes full of love for my brand new husband.

  1. Post Marriage Life is Nothing Like a Rom-Com Movie
    Be realistic. Many girls expect that their husbands are going to be be their sides all day and night, taking care of everything no matter what time of the day it is or what circumstances are. Husbands go to work. They have responsibilities. They have the kind of stress we don’t have to deal with, so if they don’t live up to your movie like expectations, be understanding. If you give him shit for coming late from work, he will get even more frustrated than before because its not like he is sitting their by choice. Same goes for men. If your wife works, give her the respect she deserves and give her time to settle into both roles (Wife and an employee) and if she doesn’t work, please understand that doesn’t mean she spends the entire day in bed watching her favorite dramas, there are a million things to do through out the day, so think twice before you start complaining about things. (Please know in no way do I mean life isn’t great. Its freaking awesome. Promise. The only thing I am saying is that its not movie like.)

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    The day after the shaadi. When I used liquid eye liner for the second time in life, applied blush on using a tissue paper (notice the weird cheeks) and Faizan looked as pyara as ever.

  2. Set Realistic Expectations
    This is the best advice I got before getting married and this is the best advice I can give you. When a girl goes into a new house she feels like she needs to be perfect. Whether its clothes, makeup, cooking, spending time with the in-laws. But what we don’t understand is that everyone around us then starts believing that this is how we are going to be forever. Which is not possible, not everyone can wake up super early daily and put on makeup before having breakfast every single day for the rest of their lives. Be yourself from day 1. Not saying don’t dress up in the beginning. Do that, do that for a week. 2 weeks tops. But then start getting into your normal routine and state so that you are accepted for who you really are. Even with your behavior, be yourself, dont pretend to be someone you can’t be in a few weeks.

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    I realized we only took selfies this entire year. No insaan k bachay wali normal pictures.

  3. Dont Dwell on Tiny Issues
    In the beginning, brides tend to be super emotional. They miss their home, their families (specially if they move to another country/city) so basically we are emotionally unstable whether we like/believe it or not.There will be some very small and stupid things that will bother us. But create a system in your head that starts beeping every time you are being unreasonable and stop right there. Give it a thought before you go on shouting or picking up an unnecessary fight with your husband. Chances are you will get over it within minutes. Otherwise you are an idiot – sorry, but its true. Realize how tiny the issue is or you will regret it later.

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    Happy people. Alhamdulillah.

  4. Give Love to Get Love
    Always remember, your husbands family is now yours too. You need to treat them like your own. Think of his siblings and parents as yours too because they are extremely important and they play a huge role both your lives. My mother in law and I often discuss how people live together but find flaws in each other on purpose and create issues. When you HAVE to live together, why not live happily? Why not give them the love and respect you would give your own family? Respect is earned. You won’t get it in a day and your in laws can’t expect that within a day either. It takes time, but it happens. From day 1, make it a rule to think of them like your own and before you know it, you will grow to love and care for them in the exact same way.

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    Sent shameless ugly selfies to Faizan through out my America trip because ab tou phans chuka hai

     

  5. Give Each Other Space
    Faizan’s FIFA habits annoyed me to an unbelievable extend but I eventually realized its a part of his “ME” time and I accepted his PS4 as his other wife who he needs every now and then. Also, spending time apart is very difficult, but it gives you perspective and also helps you realize how much you need the other person in your life. Earlier this year I had to go to USA for a cousins wedding and Faizan couldn’t come along because of his work commitments, then later in the year he went with a friend to Turkey for his bachelor trip (which made me highly uncomfortable for a bit but then I was like what the hell is wrong with me and I gave him my blessings), both trips apart bought us closer together and even though at the time it felt like a pain, I am glad we took those trips.

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    Hi.

  6. Decorate your own space, slowly.
    One of the best experiences you will have post wedding is when you decorate your own room/portion/apartment/whatever you have. Most girls get their rooms done entirely before moving in. What I did was simply send in the furniture and then when I came here, I did the setting and accessorizing. It took a lot of time (I am still no where near what I want this place to look like!) but its great fun. And the best thing is doing it with my husband. We go together to find lamps and rugs and photo frames. When he gives me his input it makes me feel extremely happy to see him involved in the entire process. Its a part of memories you make along the way and it feels absolutely amazing.

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    Throwback to when I made a shit load of food for Faizan’s birthday  dinner and forgot to take a decent picture. Just wow.

  7. Do Things That Make You Feel at Home
    Its difficult to imagine yourself living in a place other than the comfort of your own home and then suddenly over night you are in an new environment with a new family and a husband. Sometimes it gets too overwhelming and it becomes hard to settle in. In that case start doing things that you would do in your own house. Don’t be embarrassed to open the fridge at 3 am or order food. Its your own house now and you should be able to do that. I started cooking as soon as I got here because that’s what made me feel most comfortable at my parents house. When I found my way around the kitchen, knowing where all the masala’s are and where all the pots and pans are, I started feeling at home.

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    In this one year, I watched more movies than I did in my entire pre married life. All because of this guy.

  8. Learn and Accept Everyday
    Even if you get married to a person you’ve been dating for 10 years, please understand that living together is a whole new story. You see a side of your partner that you’ve never known before. Learn to accept that side. Share your interests with him and be involved in his. Enjoy your time together and take time out from everything else and spend some quality time together. That is what brings happiness to a relationship. Not expensive gifts or a big house.

This post is getting too long, so I’ll stop here. I asked Faizan to share his learnings through out the year so I can share a man’s perspective with you too. He shared a few things with me that blew my mind, but he is in Karachi for the next few days (boohoo for me) so I will wait till I see him again, rack his brain properly and then share whatever comes out of it.

And once again, a very very Happy New Year to all of you. May this year brings brings you insane amounts of peace and joy! 

Nature Charms – Skin Care Products

Hello beautiful people.

I was sent some items by Nature Charms a while ago and after using them for a bit I was amazed by the results. Their dark circles cream specially blew me away because nothing in the world seemed to help me with those and their product did wonders for me. I wish I had taken a before and after picture :/

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Recently they send me some more items to try out, so lets discuss those.

The box had an Orange and Lemon with triphala Cleansing lotion.
I’ll be honest I’m not big on lotions because when I used to live inKarachi, I had terribly oily skin which randomly decided to go dry in patches when I moved to Lahore so any sort of moisturizer would cause a breakout and I am not ready for that sort of emotional trauma. However, I decided to give this a try (Weather is cold so oily skin is in control!) and its amazing. So light on the skin and with a super refreshing scent. LOVED it.
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The other product they sent is an “Active Herbals Fairness Cream“.
It looks and smells pretty great, but I won’t lie and talk about the results because I haven’t tried it on (I am not much of a fairness cream person, I like my dark’ish/very Pakistani complexion hehe) but since all their other products are pretty amazing, I am sure this will be great too, for anyone who maybe interested.

These products and the rest of their amazing range can be ordered via their facebook page (Currently they are only operating online!)

Click here to reach their facebook page.

So do check out their stuff! For all the brides to be, they also have a range of hair fall shampoo and oils and even have this insane ubtan you might want to check. All their products are priced very reasonably, so easy on the pocket too.

Let me know what you think of the products once you’ve tried and there might or might not be a small giveaway coming up with these 2 above mentioned products on the blog shortly.

 

 

The wedding stories – Mariya and Aimun

(*The Giveaway Week is now LIVE! Enter now! Click on: “How to Enter” for details*)

An old friend of mine Mariya Dada recently got married and instead of doing the classic fairy tale wedding that most girls desire and wish for, she and her husband Aimun Asif Varind decided to go with a wedding that bought happiness to way more people than just her family and friends by having a small nikah/reception with just 40 people and a valima dinner for kids at Sirat ul Jannah.

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Source: Mariya Dada

Me: Blah blah blah, blah blah blah, give me details.

Mariya:
“So earlier this year when we decided on dates for the wedding, we started like any other couples. Making guest lists, making a budget and booking halls etc. We visited a lot of halls and realized how expensive everything was, but since we had originally planned for just one event, so we wanted it to be really cool at a great hall with beautiful decor etc. But I’d step out of the halls and be like “Shit man, this is so expensive” and on top of that there is food and a million other things and all I could think was what a waste of everything for just ONE day and that too just to make everyone else around you happy. However, everyone around me was like “Its a wedding. This is how it works. Of course it is going to be expensive“. And I was like BROOOOOOOOO wastageeeeee!!! Everyone agreed that yes, it is a waste, but of course there are going to  be guests and they need food. So lets do this dish and that etc etc.

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Source: Mariya Dada

Then the entire story about the wedding dress started. I was checking out designers and small local stores to find something decent on a budget and of course my budget was half of what my mother and sisters wanted me to spend because I am not really into clothes and decided it was going to be a waste if I invest too much into it and Aimun too was happy about getting a nice sherwani that wasn’t going to cost an arm and leg haha.

Somewhere during this entire process, Aimun and I would discuss how we were taught as kids that you should not waste money, shouldn’t show off and if you have money spend it on those who really need it and I felt that all of us completely forget about these values as soon as a wedding is being planned. 

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Beauty Queen and her pyara husband

I locked down a dress at a small designer and was going to pay in two days when I told my mom lets hold it off for a bit. Asked her to make an excuse that I saw something else that I liked and then Aimun and I discussed the entire thing seriously. We realized that all these expenses and money being spent was insane and we started thinking about how we were working so hard for this one day and what would we/could we do with all this money.

And then we realized there were a lot of things we could spend this money on. Like our home (We live on our own, so there is rent plus had to decorate the house too), travelling (both of us haven’t traveled much so this was very appealing!) and then of course, give it to people who could make better use of it.

So we went and cancelled the hall booking (the advance we paid was the only money wasted in this entire process!) and told our parents we don’t want a big wedding. That’s when things got a little difficult, because our families couldn’t really see what we were going at. For a bit even Aimun was like “Are you sure? I am a boy, I won’t care but you might regret it”. My siblings said the same thing. But I knew I wasn’t going to enjoy dressing up, sitting on a stage with people staring at me, eating, having fun and then leaving. I told them that wedding isn’t for me, its for the people attending.

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Source: Mariya Dada

My parents had a hard time accepting this. I told my mom k bhai you’ve already done 2 bachon ki shaadi so no further need to go all out. Aimun and I both told our parents that if you have any reason beyond What are people going to say?” then we will do as you ask. But all arguments boiled down to exactly that one statement and we simply said that’s not a good enough justification for us to have a myopic vision and think about one day when we are thinking of starting a new life, right?

We should work towards a great marriage, not a great wedding.

So they gave in. My sister however made sure that it was a well decorated and well done event (It happened at her place!) and she was adamant from the start about photos and asked us to dress up enough to have decent photo memories haha. So I got a jora from a local tailor, bought nice jewelry and got a good photo session done.

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Source: Mariya Dada

And my wedding was basically a dinner with both our immediate families and 10 friends. So a total of 40 people. 

So that was the wedding and we went to Sirat-ul-Jannah and spent time there with the kids and that was my valima haha.

My mom later told me that there are many girls in our community who don’t get married because their parents dont have any money to give them a grand wedding and that they would love to know about what we did because wedding is a simple thing you dont have to resort to out of need. So some money that we wanted to give away was kept aside for some of these families.

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Source: Facebook

Just know that it is very difficult to go through with this decision because of family, society and a lot of external pressure. But sometimes we just need to reflect. I will add that yes, this day is also about the parents and they have to answer to the rest of the family, society etc – NOT to us, so we should try and get them on board through reasoning rather than being stubborn and not explaining WHY we want to do this. Its a big big decision and they should be a part of it happily.

Basss and Mashaa’Allah we’ve been very happy. The wedding felt great (ALL ABOUT ME :D) And sometimes I do feel its because we started it this way. And that’s my story.”

Me: :’) :’)

(One of the very few times in life where I didn’t have much to say.)

Please know that in no way are either of us saying that anyone who spends money on their weddings is wrong. This is just another way of making your big day special. So go with whatever makes you happy. I personally feel that when someone gets married they have so many dreams and a vision of how they want to look, how they want the food to be, how beautiful their venue is going to be. Putting all of that aside and doing something like this requires an insane amount of strength and a huge heart.

Couldn’t be prouder of Mariya and Aimun. Lets say a little prayer for a very happy, healthy, long and full of love life for these two very beautiful people.